I didn’t know
how many members make up the Northern Ireland Assembly;
how often its Welsh equivalent holds elections;
the Scottish clan slaughtered for refusing to swear the oath;
the architect who designed the Cenotaph;
which of the six was Henry the Eighth’s fifth wife;
what appeared on our first Iron Age cash;
who ordered the Tower of London to be built;
where to find the National Horseracing Museum;
what, in 2007, was voted Britain’s favourite view;
what, in 1944, the ‘Butler Act’ made law
(though a seaside slot machine did once show me
what it was the butler saw).
Such pub quiz ignorance is no bar against me
remaining a citizen of the UK, yet you,
who fled persecution and learned the language here,
got seven of twenty-four such questions wrong,
and so your bid to be a citizen went down.
Why should a knowledge of obscure odds and ends
of these isles’ history decide your application?
Shouldn’t more value be placed on understanding
and the willingness to integrate than on your capacity
to recall facts learned simply to pass a test?
You might be au fait with day-to-day practicalities –
what you pay for in the NHS and what you don’t;
how to recycle rubbish in different-coloured bins;
how to fill in complicated forms like tax returns;
how to get on with folk from different ethnic groups –
but all these will count for naught
if, on Life in the UK, you score
fewer than eighteen points
out of the maximum twenty-four.
Notes:
To become a citizen of the UK, you must be over 18 years old, be of “good character,” be currently living in the UK, meet the English language requirements, and pass the Life in the UK test.
NHS: National Health Service
About the author: Mantz Yorke lives in Manchester, England. His poems have appeared in print magazines, anthologies and e-magazines both in the UK and internationally. His collections Voyager and Dark Matters are published by Dempsey & Windle.